"Dancing With The Stars" Sucks on wbab.com

I'd rather...

Get a tobasco sauce enema
Take a bath with a plugged in toaster
Give myself paper cuts
Swallow gasoline and a lit match and see what happens
Pay my LIPA Bill
Lay on Rosie O'Donnell's sweaty flesh while she feasts on greasy pizza
Watch JOEY on NBC
Bite my tongue again and again until it bleeds
Get lost in the mountains of UTAH for 4 days
Eat dinner off Matt the New Guy's bathroom floor
Jump out of a tree and land straddled on top of a picket fence.
Get a root canal.
Lay in the street with my teeth on the curb while someone stomps on the back of my head.
Circumcise myself with a table saw
Pull my own eye out, eat it and then pour salt in my open wound.
Puke in my own mouth
Allow earwicks to crawl into my head, lay eggs, hatch the eggs in my head, and have the larvae crawl out of all my orifices.
Kiss a leper.
Infect myself with scabies.
Watch cute little snuggly puppies get run over by a steam roller
Shave head with a cheese grater
Chew on tin foil
Insert a glass rod into penis hole and smash it with a hammer
Watch a cow urinate on a flat rock
Rinse mouth with battery acid
Watch grass grow and paint dry for a month straight.
Eat chewing gum covered in hair
Get a prostate exam
Dive a space probe into a comet
Lght my nose hairs on fire one at a time
Lick dirt off an old tire
Hit my own eyeball with a ballpeen hammer
Go shopping at Bed Bath Beyond
Watch a rat lap up dog vomit.
Floss my teeth with Janet Reno's pubic Hair.
Be the chick in a prison bitch relationship.
Wrap myself in fireworks and swim in shark infested waters.
Yell out racially charged remarks in spanish harlem.
Give my grandfather a reacharound.
Bob for apples in Yankee Stadiums cesspool.
Do a gay porn with my dad and watch it with my family on Thanksgiving
Watch a Dr. Phil marathon
Walk barefoot on dog shit in wet grass while getting bit by hundreds of mosquitos
Get shot with rubber bullets by a firing squad while standing on hot coals
Clean a Giants Stadium urinal with my tounge
French Kiss Patrick Ewing
Pass a sofball through my pee hole
Play pick-up sticks with my butt cheeks
Go to work
Wipe my hemroids with sandpaper
Slide down a 50 foot razor blade into a pit of salt