Central Islip Barbie - This Modern Day Retro-Barbie comes with Two Gold Teeth, Acid Washed Jeans, White Reeboks, Feathered Hair and a Double Ring Belt. She also comes with Ken, her brother/boyfriend, complete with house arrest bracelet and Dodge Neon. Parole Officer Sold Separately.

Hempstead Barbie - This Barbie comes with Hoop Earrings, Hair Weave, Food Stamps, a bus pass, a search warrant, and a court date. She also comes with three babies and three different Ken's (one daddy for each baby). Also, Each Ken comes with his own bag of weed.

Brentwood Barbie - This Spanish-speaking-only Barbie comes with a 1984 Toyota with expired temporary plates and four baby Barbies in the backseat (no car seats). The optional Ken doll comes with a paint-bucket, lunch pail, and is missing three fingers on his left hand. Green cards are not available for Brentwood Barbie or Ken.

Uniondale Barbie - This recently paroled former "Porn Actress" Barbie comes with a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a meth-lab kit. This model is only available after dark and can only be paid for in cash. Preferably small, untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop then we don't know what you are talking about

Great Neck Barbie - This stuck-up yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card, and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

Mastic Barbie - This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small with a roll of fat hanging over the top. A NASCAR shirt, and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free. Levittown Barbie - This brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Hicksville Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter top. Also available with a mobile home. Huntington Barbie - This doll actually smells like tofu. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow." She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Huntington Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for free. Massapequa Barbie - This Italian Princess Barbie comes with teased black hair, 12 gold chains, 7 gold bracelets, 8 rings and 1 ankle bracelet. Included are a permanently attached cell phone and a black Monte Carlo with ILUVTONY license plates. The accompanying Ken doll has been replaced with a black haired Tony doll with hairy chest and gel/hairdryer kit.